I watched a holiday movie last night and I had to comment on it. Hollywood’s idea of what a romance is is not my idea of one or what I write. I do think physical attraction is a part of a relationship, but what I believe is important in a lasting relationship is an emotional bond and friendship. Without those a marriage will not last. In His and Her Business the two people were columnists for two different newspapers. Tom Lane was the big time columnist while Lizzie Madison was with a small town newspaper which was being taken over by the big one Tom worked for. Tom was successful and making quite a name for himself.
Well, she began writing in her column about the meaning of Christmas and people began to read her. Tom’s newspaper wanted him to counterattack her column and rising popularity. He did and a written war began. Tom and Lizzie’s best friends kept telling them that they must be attracted and in love with each other. The problem is that Tom and Lizzie had hardly spoken to each other or for that matter seen each other than the pictures in the newspaper. But suddenly they were falling in love because of their written war. Yes, I’m sure there was a physical attraction, but in order to really fall in love the couple should be together some on a personal level–not through columns in a newspaper.
By the end of the movie the two were in engaged (less than a month), and yet I never saw when they fell in love or for that fact were together for quality time. As writers we need to establish an emotional connection if our readers are going to believe the couple really fell in love and their marriage will last. Love is so much more than how a person looks (in the movie they went on and on about how hot the other was). Ultimately it is what is inside his/her heart and soul that counts.
Now, that is just a sad commentary on the way Hollywood is going these days. And the teens at my church are watching these types of movies to show them what true love is! It’s especially sad when (for some teens) their own parents don’t have a loving relationship as an example to them.
Camy
I didn’t catch the movie… But I agree. How in the world can love develop when two people don’t even interact on a personal level? Sadly, it seems like a number of movies have had this problem recently. It’s the personal interaction that is the difference between lust and love, but it seems that a lot of people fail to understand that anymore…
So true. And it is what is inside the heart that makes you keep on loving your mate when he or she no longer looks like they once did, when wrinkles, baby fat, slowed metabolism, baldness, etc. start to creep in. You can still look at your spouse and get those same butterflies sometimes and sometimes just smile and snug down in the comfort of loving and knowing you are loved in return, despite your faults. That’s a wonderful feeling.
A lot of kids get some mixed up ideas about love and it is tossed about with startling regularity and it is mostly portrayed as disposible. If it doesn’t work with A, we’ll just go on to B.
Hugs to you.
Thanks, Camy, April and Pammer for stopping by and giving me your comments on what love is. I totally agree with you all.
Margaret